Attempting to convince anybody these games are terrible is a waste of time. Public consensus is they are beloved classics. I understand why people like them. Playing each, I can see the appeal, despite disliking them. They aren’t trash; they’re simply not for me. Please enjoy my highly subjective opinion. Here’s my top 10 classic games I hate, but everybody else loves.
Shadow of the Colossus
Shadow of the Colossus is the case for why video games are art. It’s a central narrative element in the movie Reign Over Me. It’s on tons of best game of all time lists. Shadow of the Colossus received an HD port on PS3 and an enhanced HD remake on PS4. That’s the same game released on three consecutive console generations. Shadow of the Colossus is among the most widely praised games in existence. I hate it.
Sluggish controls hamper traversing the open world. Riding the horse is a chore, not a joy. Exploring the landscapes feels as dreary as they look. Anytime I explore an area, it’s devoid of exciting content. When I finally encountered the first boss, killing it wasn’t the amazing puzzle challenge I expected. Climb, stab, meh.
If you’re wondering, I first played the game on PS2 within a year of its release, so the game hasn’t been copied dozens of times yet. I tried again with the PS3 remake, hoping I’d get the hype, but years between play sessions changed nothing. I want to like this game. Shadow of the Colossus bores me.
Final Fantasy VI (Final Fantasy 3)
Super Mario RPG lead to Final Fantasy VII, followed by Chrono Trigger. This trio of games solidified my love of the JRPG genre. The next logical game to play was Final Fantasy 3 on SNES. While FF7 was dominating the PlayStation, vocal fans shouted that FF3 was better. To this day fans consider 6 the ultimate Final Fantasy experience.
The opening mech walking scene is incredible. I can still hear the music and picture the scrolling snow covered landscape. It’s a beautiful moment in gaming history. FF3 goes downhill after that. Four directional grid controls drive me nuts, and the pace of movement is painfully slow. Inching through maps is a chore. Random battles and a high encounter rate combined with the controls to create a nightmare dungeon crawling experience.
The cherry on top is dull characters and a lackluster plot. Kefka, the villain, is a poor Joker. Terra, Locke and Sabin are dull. Celes and Shadow are badass, I’d love spin offs with just them. I reached the famous Opera House scene before putting the game down for good. Apparently, the second half is where the game shines, but my lack of interest
Super Metroid
I love Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Considering how similar an experience these games are, I should love both, but I don’t. I’m naming Super Metroid, but truth is I don’t enjoy the NES original either. I settled on Super Metroid because it’s definitely the better game, and I still don’t like it.
Samus jump kills Super Metroid for me. The strange floating jump that turns into a spin frustrates the experience. I hate moving through the game world. SOTN has a strong jumping mechanic. I always know where I’ll land. I can’t stress how much that changes the experience for me.
The dark sci-fi world of Super Metroid and its incredible art design deserve all the praise it gets. The eerie music sets the mood perfectly. Backtracking is fun rather than being a slog. There’s so much to love in Super Metroid, but I can’t get passed hating the controls.
Bioshock Infinite
A new Bioshock game was an exciting prospect. Exploring Rapture is among the best gaming experiences I’ve had. Easily the most memorable FPS setting since DOOM. Previews of Bioshock Infinite looked to continue the trend, but trailers never tell the whole story. Two hours into Bioshock Infinite, I was torn over whether to keep playing. The answer was ultimately no.
Rapture sucked me into its creepy decaying society. Discovering what happened there was exciting. Exploring Columbia’s brightly lit and populated cityscape lacked the same sense of dread mystery. Combat with the robotic enemies lacked the frantic fear of fighting a splicer or fleeing a Big Daddy. Maybe I’m wrong to compare the two games so heavily, but this is about how I felt playing the game…and I was disappointed.
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Reviews for Oblivion hype how gorgeous and awe inspiring leaving a moment it is to leave the first dungeon and enter the over world. Fighting rats in the darkness gives way into a beautiful fantasy world that encourages you to explore every square foot. Imagine my surprise when greeted with a mediocre fantasy scene. Bit of grass, a few trees and water. Nothing spectacular. Ocarina of Time’s Hyrule field blows Oblivion away. Perhaps exploring this vast world would help…it did not.
Real-time combat is awful in Oblivion. I know its stat based, but that doesn’t excuse a slow and floaty attack system. Combat uses D&D style rules, but fails to capture the classic tabletop game’s intensity. My imagination is capable of far more exciting swordplay than Oblivion’s failed flailing. Bethesda fixed this problem with guns and the VATS system in Fallout. Skyrim then did it in the fantasy setting, balancing stats and the feel of combat. I appreciate Oblivion because it paved the way for those significantly better games, but I’ll never recommend playing it.
Dark Souls
Dark Souls entered my life as a free download on the 360. Four hours of intense play, slowly learning patterns and exploring the world, ended when it occurred to me I wasn’t having fun. Dying constantly wasn’t the problem. I like Ninja Gaiden 2 on NES, despite never being able to beat the wind level. I’m generally not very good at videogames, but being defeated a lot doesn’t always discourage me. It was the slow pace and my lack of investment in the world that killed the game for me.
Dark Souls moves at a slow, methodical pace. Taking your time is essential strategy. Knowing when to strike or defend is vital. My problem was the whole game moved at a snail’s pace. Fights were challenging, but they lacked excitement. Defeating ancient evil shouldn’t leave me yawning.
My other problem was the world of Dark Souls didn’t draw me in. I don’t always need to care about my character. Ninja Gaiden 2 doesn’t have a gripping plot or intense characters, but a good story may keep me playing despite gameplay issues. Dark Souls is an example of emergent narrative. The player discovers the story through clues in the game world. Perhaps I didn’t play long enough to get invested in the world, but that highlights my problem with the game. Game play wasn’t fun enough for me to stick around.
Tell me to “git good” all you like, but Dark Souls isn’t my game. Learning the in-depth mechanics of a title that makes you sleepy is a waste of time. Putting up with game mechanics you don’t like for the promise of a good story is foolish. Read a book or play another game instead. Never force yourself to play a video game. Games should be fun.
Earthbound
I love JRPGs, but not Earthbound. The local video rental store actually had this in their SNES library, which is unbelievable considering how rare the game was in the 90s. The only RPG experience I had at that time was Super Mario RPG. Earthbound played nothing like Square and Nintendo’s masterpiece. Battles are slow. Characters are simple but ugly cartoonish sprites. The world felt too normal, while attempting to be strange. It wants to be funny, but I didn’t laugh once.
I’ve attempted to play Earthbound three times. Tastes change over the years. Perhaps I was missing something before. I’ve changed my mind about other games. Earthbound tops lists of SNES hidden gem titles. Like the other titles on this list, it should be good. To my disappointment, all the problems I experienced as a child reared their ugly head each time. Earthbound does absolutely nothing for me. It’s a total slog.
Persona 3
Persona 4 Golden is the better introduction to the series. That’s the response received online when I say I’m not interested in Persona after playing this game. That’s fine and dandy, but the way the game presents its characters, narrative and battles are a large part of my dislike of the game. The central conceit of attending a Japanese high school by day and fighting monsters in the dorm by night doesn’t interest me. I can’t imagine changing some of the details in the sequel will make the basic setup more appealing.
I consider myself an anime fan, but I’m not hardcore about it. High school dramas generally don’t appeal to me. Persona’s central appeal for the fans is what keeps me from engaging with the game. I fully understand the love for Persona, but the things people like about it don’t appeal to me.
Ni No Kuni
Studio Ghibli and Level 5 deserve accolades for its art design. Ni No Kuni’s gorgeous. It’s a Ghibli film you can play, and that feeling includes the story and visuals. It’s a wonderful fairytale. If it were a film I’d adore it, but Ni No Kuni is a game. A game I do not enjoy playing.
My problem is the battle system. Real time combat is frustrating, slow and hurt by poor menu design. Switching between captured monsters and the main character never feels intuitive. I’ve enjoyed Pokemon, and I love Xenoblade Chronicles 2, both of which feature character swapping as a central mechanic and are far more successful with their battle system.
If Ni No Kuni were a Lucasarts style adventure game, I would likely have it on a best of PS3 list instead of this one. I love half the game, and absolutely hate the other half. In the end, I couldn’t keep playing. Such a shame.
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
COD has become an easy target for complaints. The series remains popular, but no longer commands the respect it once did. I’m not going to jump on the bandwagon, because I was never on it. I’m also not using this as a platform to proclaim Battlefield as the better series, because I don’t like it either. In fact, I don’t like shooters that aim for realism. COD4: Modern Warfare drove that home for me.
Halo, Doom and Timesplitters are my favorite FPS series. Realism doesn’t have a place in these games. Players are superheroes not soldiers. That’s my kind of FPS experience. Call of Duty caters to a different audience. COD is an apple and Halo an orange. They’re both fruit, but eating one doesn’t mean you’ll like the other. The same applies to sports titles. I love NFL Blitz and hate Madden. Same basic genre, but vastly different styles. COD just isn’t my game, even the one widely considered the best of the series.